Flowery French to My American Ears

Yesterday, I received an email from Madame Gite-Owner regarding our stay. As I had dealt with a lot of gite owners before we finally chose this one, I was always impressed with this particular lady. Madame Gite-Owner was always so pleasant and....flowery.

Other gite owners answered me matter-of-factly, some even rudely! Others tried to persuade me to change our travel dates and chose their gite (because it wasn't open yet for the season when we needed one.) But Madame Gite-Owner always asked me how we were doing, told me my French was wonderful, and even wanted to meet my relatives who live in a village nearby.

Interestingly, this gite was the very first one I pulled up last year when I was trying to convince my parents that we should all do this thing. It was the gite that made changed my dad's mind about going to France (he didn't even come visit us when we lived there, if that tells you anything.) I looked at hundreds more gites after it, but we always came back to this one.

My uncle called and talked to Madame Gite-Owner and reported back that she indeed seemed very lovely and legitimate.

So the email I received yesterday was really no suprise, and it made me smile everytime I thought about the last paragraph. So I want to share it with you. Now, I'm going to translate this a bit differently. Instead of the idea being translated into how we would speak English, I want to translate what my American English ear "hears" when reading French. A literal translation, if you will.

"....You really need to think of your trip now. You must to count on 10-12 hours on the aircraft...so we are offering you the calm and tranquility of our home and the countryside, and I am hoping that the sun will accompany your stay here, so that you can rapidly recover from the due fatigue that you will have because of the jet lag; and get the maximum benefit from your vacation in France......" --Mme Gite Owner

I suppose if I were doing a translating job, I would say she meant: "I'm sure you have a 10-12 hour flight ahead of you. Don't worry, you'll have peace and quiet when you get out here in the country and hopefully we'll have some sun while you're here, so you can rest up from jet lag and have a great vacation." ---Mme French-to-American English Translator

I prefer flowers.

Dangerous Liaisons

I need some help out there from some French speakers in France. Yesterday in my mom's car she was playing her new Pimsleur French CD's, preparing for our trip. As the man was speaking, I noticed he was not making the liaisons. At first, I thought it was a mistake. Then he continued on and on. For example, for we went, phonetically it was this: noo-sohm-allay. For I am here it was zhu-swee ee-see. No "z" sounds linking the words together. Completely contrary to what I have been taught.

Then in English he explained it. He said that more and more people in France are dropping the liaisons and so they are now teaching it that way. Well, I asked my relative in France about it today, and he said he had no clue what I was talking about.

Question #1: Is it true that liaisons are being dropped more and more?

Question #2: Is this just the equivalent of teaching "I dunno" and "D'ya wanna?"

Moi, chais pas.

Advanced French Lesson Numero Une...or is it Un?

So, did anyone catch my mistake yesterday? I believe I should have said "un" when I said "une".

This leads up to my next topic: Mistakes in French. Fellow Francofiles, we all have them, right? Please tell me I'm not the only one who has told the entire table during a dinner party that I was drunk, when I in fact meant "I'm full"!
I've also repeatedly said I was "aroused" when I meant excited,as in, "I'm excited to go shopping today! Are you excited for your wedding next month?" Another faux pas was several times of the usage of a word I thought to mean "breast" when I was discussing breastfeeding. What I said was actually a vulgar word that a woman would never use when discussing her own.

Nothing compares to the mistakes that Hubby made, though. My dear, sweet husband said such a vulgar word in church that no one would translate. When he was trying to say dog in French, it came out all wrong. (Can anyone guess what word came out?) Or howabout the time he used "con" instead of "quand"...wait, did I say time? I meant timesssss (plural). He still struggles with this one.
It's not hard to say conard instead of canard, and who can tell if baisser has one "s" or two? No American I know!

I remember my uncle's stories about his first months in France. He was terrified to leave the apartment. But one day when he thought he finally had enough French down to venture out onto the streets of Toulouse and try some out, he got cocky. He thought he was past the old fashioned "bonjour"...he wanted to be cool and say "Salut!" (pronounced sal-ew) So as he walked down the rue he greeted all the shopkeepers with a super cool "Salop!" instead (sal-oh). This means bastard.

As I prepare for our upcoming trip, I might want to rethink my procrastination in brushing up on my French. I'm sure that I will have some real doozies to post about on Cassoulet Cafe. Let me serve as a warning to others.

Learn English with Baby Charlie

In looking for French lessons on YouTube for my kids, I decided to see what French people have in the way of English lessons on the Tube. I found this series of English lessons, presumably for adults. It's like a bad smell, so to speak. It's so horrible, but just to make sure it's that bad, you keep sniffing. You can't stop watching until you're through and then you want to see if Lesson 2 is just as hideous. So you go ahead and click it, and it's even worse. So you continue on with 3, then 4.....

I don't know if this is just a bad joke, or an actual English lesson. So, why don't you let your curiousity get the better of you and click PLAY. And then I won't be the only one who has to admit they watched this flick.

PS. Oh, for the full effect, you should understand French. If not, you can still get the idea that it's very, um, classy.

PPS. My kids love it! They keep saying, "Put Baby Charlie back on!!!! It's so funny!"