Friday, January 23, 2009

Messed Up

You told me, because they told you
You warned me, like they warned you.

You did your best, unlike the rest
You used your talent, to release your stress

You drew your freedom, you drew your soul
You drew your dreams, for all to hold...

Until you could take them back for good
You painted the world you knew you'd have

The one you left
The one you had.

You slowly made your tiny hole
Into a home, instead of hell.
You brought it to us with your eyes and hand

You drew the only things you could see,
which wasn't much, to eyes that are free.

And when they ripped you away from security,
They said there was reason, "you're soon to be free"

But instead of getting a reward
You were at the mercy of the new prison's "lord"
When he slammed his fist into your head,
you didn't know it was coming, you thought were dead

The blows kept coming from all around
The darkness and pain kept you down

When they were done, they told you to leave
Or they would finish you, and leave you to bleed

They took your brush, they took your pen,
they took your life, and hemmed you in.

And now all you want is to go home,
Where you belong, where you will be

Oil painting  by My Brother, 2008


Anonymous said...

Wow. I am dumbstruck at your powerful words, presumably about your dear brother. I hope he/everyone heals physically and emotionally, and most importantly, gets out of that hothouse of h**l ASAP. Your brother is an amazing talent, and I'm amazed at his resiliancy using this gift. Healing from here, all around.

Cassoulet Cafe said...

Thank you so much for coming by, and taking the time to say such encouraging words.
This has been a trial/learning experience and it's been so healing to write about it, and to showcase my brother's work.
Again, thank you...

Insanity Kim said...


Cheeky Greek said...

You should read that to him, or send it.

Cassoulet Cafe said...

Thanks Kim :)

Cheeky: I dunno...we'll see. Why don't you send yours FIRST? :)

Vodka Mom said...

wow. That was just incredible.

holy crap. My heart goes out to you.

Cassoulet Cafe said...

Vodka, Thank you :)

Cris, Artist in Oregon said...

This brought tears to my eyes. Very powerful. Very good.
The painting is amazing since I know how bad & limited his supplies are/were and he does/did such amazing work with them.

Le laquet said...

I just think you like making me cry! Don't you?


Cassoulet Cafe said...

He told me he dreams all the time of going to the art store and picking out supplies :)

Yep, I aim for drama haha! Thanks for the hugs!

Tiffany said...

Wow. That is amazing! You definitely have a way of words.

Anna Lefler said...

Oh, that's beautiful. I'm sending all my best and am in awe of the talent that obviously runs in the family...



Kirie said...

Such a powerful poem, thick with feeling--regret and anger and hope.
Well done!
And his painting--wow. I am wishing so much for this ordeal to be over for your family.


Paula said...

What a moving poem, I am sending Hugs

La Belette Rouge said...

Beautiful and so touching. I think you should send it. I am SURE he would appreciate your poetry that is infused with so much love. Hugs to you.xoxo

Mim said...

Amazing - just amazing.

Mim said...

I just read thru your posts about your brother and am so sad for your family. Did they really transfer him from SLO to San Quentin??? (my brother lives in SLO - so I know just where you mean)
Would it help, or would it be allowed to send him any art supplies?
This whole story breaks my heart.

Cassoulet Cafe said...

Thank you for your dear words. My brother was facing San Quentin, but they ended up sending him to Corcoran-SATF instead. That is where he was jumped by a group of guys 30 mins after he arrived.
He is now in a state hospital, because the only way he could get out of the situation without being a snitch was to say he was thinking about hurting himself. Instantly put on suicide watch and then sent to a hospital.
He's not allowed any art supplies in the hospital, and we are hoping he'll be sent back to CMC where he can have all his art supplies back. He's so lost without his brushes and paint....

Vicki said...


Anonymous said...

Oh Miss Cassoulet, what a beautiful way to share your thoughts and feelings about this... you are just unbelievable. I feel so badly that he can't have the tools for his art, he must be absolutely bereft.

I'm sending you major cyberhugs, and hopes you all hang in there. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.